so i have changed
it was merely this morning olip called me and we talked for more or less four hours..GOD i do miss her..it feels so great to finally hearing from her, after GOD-knows-how-long..we talked and talked and talked, and when my battery was about to go flat, she suddnely told me that she didn't trust me anymore..she told me that it felt different..well, i know people change, and i know i change too..and that it wasn't her fault that she felt that way towards me,it's just that, somehow what she said hurt me..i think i simply can't let go of our image together in the past..she was not only my best friend,but also my inspiration..she was someone i try to become..when i was with her, i felt as if i could do anything that i don't dare to even think of..put it simply, she validates me.i really hope that as time goes by, both of us can still continue our friendship..that we can accept the change in us and still be friends and as close as we used to..it won't be the same kind of friendship, i am quite sure, for we have changed ,whether it's for better and for worse..but i still hope that we can..*i miss you!!**ma kasi lip uda tlpon g buat selesain masala qta..*
study study and study
it's been a few days since i started studying..and i am proud to say that i have been following my schedule without fail!!yea man give me a five!! :D i'm still watching scrubs though..around 3 episodes per day..well i'm trying to keep stress away from me, you see.. :D
anyway, i miss home!!i guess when i am so stressed up, i go straight to this 'miss-home' mode..*sigh*
well, anyway people, i will need a lot and a lot of luck..so your help (in prayer) will be very much appreciated.. :D
*keep my finger cross for the beautiful surprise of life*
CHEERS people!!
bob kelso the weirdo
okaii i know i'm suppose to be studying, but everytime i am too stressed up, i can't find a way to keep my brain on the book..so here i am, watching scrubs again and again and again..when olip told me about scrubs, i didn't believe her..instead of watching with her, i slept through the show..well, anyway, i suppose there's time for everything..anyway, i've never liked bob kelso..i think he's a jerk!!but in this episode he sounded so cool, that i can't help but to quote his wisdom in words..well, more or less it goes like this:"you're scared, and you're scared because when you try and you fail, there is only you to blame. so let me break this down for you barbie,life is scary, get use to it!!there are no magical fixes..it's all up to you!""but how if it's too hard?""...nothing in this world that worth having comes easy"WOW!!haha..yeah i know he sucks at times, but i think he may be something more than just a cold-blooded asshole.. :D
i am bored!!
i am wondering if there is such a word to describe bored and stressed at the same time, because if there is, it describes me wll enough..anyway, i've just bought myself air ticket to go home for my term break..so i'll be home for more or less 2 months, from 9 may 08 to 30 june 08..i feel a bit guilty to sayank, but i definitely have to go home..my parents miss me and just a few days ago, my dad begged me, pathetically, to go home as soon as i have holiday..i guess they are afraid that i'll stay here instead of go back, which is true to some extent..after giving it much thought, i've decided to go home for 2 months and stay here for the last month..well, maybe i'll be going to malaka and penang, or KL..who knows, right?i just don't want any of them to feel lonely..i know this makes me sound like i have such tremendously high self-importance, but it's the truth..they will miss me and i have to choose..i hate making these kinds of decision!! *BOOHOOOOO*i was pretty angry yesterday..and nope, it wasn't really anybody's fault..and i wasn't angry to anyone, but me..so i was walking down the street, listening to my music, when suddenly a guy ran for me and tapped me on my shoulder..i was already holding up my hands, implying that i wanted nothing to do with whatever it is that he wanted to do..but you know what?he didn't stop..instead, he went on and went on and went on about how much effort he put in making a paper star and that he knew i could do it too (like duuh?!) and that he wanted to sell me the star..i was too lazy to wait for him to finish, so i straight away asked him how much he wanted..and he said 2 bucks..and so i gave him 2 bucks and held my hand in front of him to get whatever it was that he had to offer..well, he gave me 1 and yes only ONE paper star!!and you know what? i didn't complain..i didn't!!i was so mad at myself, that i felt like crying..i mean, i am such a loser who can't say no to anybody..how pathetic is that?it's not as if i'm gonna see him again, so why do i have to be so scared?why?why?why?i am such a loser..a push-over..i can't believe i can get bullied by a total stranger..it's not that i mind the 2$..it's the fact that i am such a loser that made me so angry to myself!!i'll be stronger!!in fact, i'll say no to whoever it is, if that's what i really want..i don't care if it is my friend, or acquintance, or a really good friend..i will do it!!
boohooooooooooooooooooo
i've been irritating those people around me by keep saying boohoooooooo..haha..i find the word so funny and nice to pronounce..so yep, here it comes again..BOOHOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!well i have to go study now..my programing lab is in 2 weeks time!!DIE!!i'm watching scrubs first though! :Dcao!!
