i am bored!!
i am wondering if there is such a word to describe bored and stressed at the same time, because if there is, it describes me wll enough..
anyway, i've just bought myself air ticket to go home for my term break..so i'll be home for more or less 2 months, from 9 may 08 to 30 june 08..i feel a bit guilty to sayank, but i definitely have to go home..my parents miss me and just a few days ago, my dad begged me, pathetically, to go home as soon as i have holiday..i guess they are afraid that i'll stay here instead of go back, which is true to some extent..after giving it much thought, i've decided to go home for 2 months and stay here for the last month..well, maybe i'll be going to malaka and penang, or KL..who knows, right?i just don't want any of them to feel lonely..i know this makes me sound like i have such tremendously high self-importance, but it's the truth..they will miss me and i have to choose..i hate making these kinds of decision!! *BOOHOOOOO*
i was pretty angry yesterday..and nope, it wasn't really anybody's fault..and i wasn't angry to anyone, but me..so i was walking down the street, listening to my music, when suddenly a guy ran for me and tapped me on my shoulder..i was already holding up my hands, implying that i wanted nothing to do with whatever it is that he wanted to do..but you know what?he didn't stop..instead, he went on and went on and went on about how much effort he put in making a paper star and that he knew i could do it too (like duuh?!) and that he wanted to sell me the star..i was too lazy to wait for him to finish, so i straight away asked him how much he wanted..and he said 2 bucks..and so i gave him 2 bucks and held my hand in front of him to get whatever it was that he had to offer..well, he gave me 1 and yes only ONE paper star!!and you know what? i didn't complain..i didn't!!i was so mad at myself, that i felt like crying..i mean, i am such a loser who can't say no to anybody..how pathetic is that?it's not as if i'm gonna see him again, so why do i have to be so scared?why?why?why?i am such a loser..a push-over..i can't believe i can get bullied by a total stranger..it's not that i mind the 2$..it's the fact that i am such a loser that made me so angry to myself!!
i'll be stronger!!in fact, i'll say no to whoever it is, if that's what i really want..i don't care if it is my friend, or acquintance, or a really good friend..i will do it!!
anyway, i've just bought myself air ticket to go home for my term break..so i'll be home for more or less 2 months, from 9 may 08 to 30 june 08..i feel a bit guilty to sayank, but i definitely have to go home..my parents miss me and just a few days ago, my dad begged me, pathetically, to go home as soon as i have holiday..i guess they are afraid that i'll stay here instead of go back, which is true to some extent..after giving it much thought, i've decided to go home for 2 months and stay here for the last month..well, maybe i'll be going to malaka and penang, or KL..who knows, right?i just don't want any of them to feel lonely..i know this makes me sound like i have such tremendously high self-importance, but it's the truth..they will miss me and i have to choose..i hate making these kinds of decision!! *BOOHOOOOO*
i was pretty angry yesterday..and nope, it wasn't really anybody's fault..and i wasn't angry to anyone, but me..so i was walking down the street, listening to my music, when suddenly a guy ran for me and tapped me on my shoulder..i was already holding up my hands, implying that i wanted nothing to do with whatever it is that he wanted to do..but you know what?he didn't stop..instead, he went on and went on and went on about how much effort he put in making a paper star and that he knew i could do it too (like duuh?!) and that he wanted to sell me the star..i was too lazy to wait for him to finish, so i straight away asked him how much he wanted..and he said 2 bucks..and so i gave him 2 bucks and held my hand in front of him to get whatever it was that he had to offer..well, he gave me 1 and yes only ONE paper star!!and you know what? i didn't complain..i didn't!!i was so mad at myself, that i felt like crying..i mean, i am such a loser who can't say no to anybody..how pathetic is that?it's not as if i'm gonna see him again, so why do i have to be so scared?why?why?why?i am such a loser..a push-over..i can't believe i can get bullied by a total stranger..it's not that i mind the 2$..it's the fact that i am such a loser that made me so angry to myself!!
i'll be stronger!!in fact, i'll say no to whoever it is, if that's what i really want..i don't care if it is my friend, or acquintance, or a really good friend..i will do it!!
posted by fishball at
5:04 PM
1 Comments:
heyyy hunnn!!
never call urslf a pushover ur making me MAD by doing tht ....
well honestly i thnk id do the same thing tht u did abt saying NO well u do say NO ok u remind me of 27 dresses ;) and smtms i also tend to be like tht bt its ok ... no worries ... jst relax aight dnt be too hard on urslf say NO whn u have to dnt hesitate its nt a bad word ull jst have to practice it more often......
oh btw sorry havent called u again will do so soon??
miss uuuuuuuuu *hugs*
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