Sunday, September 24, 2006

funny n weird..

well..olip kinda told me that mr big nice guy, let's call him mr BNG to make it short, is a nice uy with low EQ..she said he makes inappropriate comments n his opinions are just not right at times, which in turn causes him to use others' opinions, which in turn, makes him a jerk..well..not really a jerk..juzz annoyin kind of guy..

that particular guy that olip described to me, though sounds quite unlike him, makes me realise that he, somehow reminds me of myself..i am juzz like that guy..i am childish..i often make inappropriate comments, which i don't usually intend to hurt pple but they sure do..i have no real opinions towards simply anything for i don't really care about anything..does it mean that i am juzz another "him" in a better wrappings?does it mean that maybe, juzz maybe, if i get to show everything of me, nobody, not even my close friends, will ever accept me like what happen to him?maybe what pple see in me is not really what is in me..maybe i have been bluffing myself all along so that i will get accepted, both by my friends n me..am i?

well aniwae..tml school will start (damn it!!)..n i will get my result back..though i know it will turn out to be too disastrous to talk about, i somehow still have small tiny little hope that everitin will turn out to be okaii..n i hate myself for this..i know hoping n high expectations can ruin everything..but i can't seem to get over it..wow..tml will be quite a hellish day i suppose..let's juzz hope that the hell isn't as bad as what i think it is..

i meet chaba juzz now when i was about to enter the MRT in orcet on my way back to oldham hall..OMG!!how i wish i was with some guy so that i can show him that there're still other guys who are into me in this world..sound so foolish n childish i know, but it is true.. i start to think that the part where phobe didn't want to go to her ex's party without any partner was rational..

i watched highschool musical juzz now..n i was thinking, how is it possible that everyone i know, who has watched this movie, simply can't forget this movie n kept telling me that it is a gr8 movie n that i hav to watch it? when in fact, i can't find anything soo wonderful about this movie except for the moves and the songs?well then i realise..it is the theme..it is the storyline that hits too close to home that makes us, teenagers, to fall into it..it wasn't the acting..neither was it the actors or actresses..(in fact, i found the guys a bit too gay n too sweet-looking)..

it was because the movie shows what true friendship is about..about weird n funny sides of pple that they are ashamed of, such as bball player who like to sing n baking, like a nerd who turn out to like to do hip-hop, like a skaterboy who turn out to like to play violin..the movie also shows a happy ending for those who follow their dreams, no matter what others tell them..though fairy-tale like as it sounds, teenagers still love it..y, u ask me?y do teenagers still like to listen n watch fairytales?bcozz it gives them hope..it gives them something to cling on to when they can't find reasons to continue living..it gives them a sense that it is alright to be weird..that everyone is weird..n that it is perfectly normal to be weird..it also tells teenagers that pple are nice..pple don't hurt each other by purpose..though nice it may seem, but it is not really what reality is about..life sux..pple hurt each other to be the best, or merely to survive..weirdo spend their lives being near weirdos..

yeah..juzz a reality check..

Saturday, September 23, 2006

PISSED!!!

I AM PISSED!!!

i was so damn pissed tat i didn't want to write here cozz i thought it might be juzz me..maybe it was notin n by mornin everitin would seem fine..the fact?i am still so damn pissed!!

okaii..so it was my fault tat i hav room outin..it is also my fault to actually try to reach her n tell her tat i am so sorii tat i can't b her company at fridae nite..n it turns out to be, again, my fault, to actually not tellin her tat i am available on fridae MIDNITE to go to ZOOK,which normally, normal pple will b able to get tat part without me tellin them..it's midnite hellow?!anyone in a hostl lyk OLDHAM HELL won't be able to get out..maybe i xpect too much from her intelligence?well..maybe..but the one fault tat i made n i shouldn't hav,for it is the biggest of all, is my xpectations..it was waaaaay to high for a prson lyk her, i conclude..

n she hung up on me!!for goodness sake..she didn't even hav mannr anymore?!i haaaaaaaaaate her!!!OMG!!so our friendship means actually notin huh?!well..up to u gurl..i dun giv a damn anymore..do wad u lyk..n u think u can still hrut my feelings?well go to hell!!who needs u aniwae?u WERE one of my closest fren..maybe things change..maybe feelings change..maybe pple change..maybe YOU change..but who cares?!i can live by my own..i dun need anyone, much less u!!