who am i?!
yeah..okaii..i know i am Mirna Halim..i am an indonesian..i am bla bla bla bla...n so on..
but it's not wad i mean..who am i?wad do i feel inside?y do i feel tis way?certain things in my lyf r juzz so uncertain tat i can't tell which is which..
last weekend i stayd out with olip..we watchd x-man3..we ate ben&jerry (which r supr dupr nice!!) we walkd round n round..we took photos..n etc..n etc..but i realised it wasn't as fun as it used to b..was it bcozz i hav gottn used to it? or was it bcozz both of us wasn't in the mood? or was it me? i keep thinkin tat as i grow up, i change into tis prson who is soo damn borin..the change was soo smooth n continually tat i actually dun feel it..or rathr i keep tryin to make myself believe tat i am okaii..tat it is juzz bcozz my frenzz r not crazy enough comparin to my secondary frenzz so tat can't b who i really am..but is it true? if we are havin gathrin, can the old me still come out? i doubt so..
olip n i were on our way to orcet when we suddnly hav the 'urgency' to play dare or dare, lyk wad usually do back then in MGS..it came out, however, i couln't think of any funny thing for her to do n i couldn't do wad she askd me to do..i was too shy to actually do wad she askd me to do..WTH?!i, who had never faild to da wad pple dared me..i, who lykd to play tis game soooo much back then..where is tat i?!hav i bcome so borin?hav i bcum, irritatinly, a borin young woman?!
i went downstairs to eat dinnr n sumhow jason came n sat wit me..turnd out he was waitin for 2t to hav dinnr togethr..i was kinda sad cozz i had juzz askd her to eat wit me but she didn't want to..as in..she wantd to eat wit him, but not wit me?okaii..wadeva..
do i hate jason bcozz he is annoyin?or is it bcozz i hate myself?is it bcozz i think tat 2t lyks him more than me tat i convince myself tat i hate him when actually i hate myself for not bein good enough, fun enough, to actually havin sumone havin fun bein near me?i dun undrstand myself..
ooh my goodness..
but it's not wad i mean..who am i?wad do i feel inside?y do i feel tis way?certain things in my lyf r juzz so uncertain tat i can't tell which is which..
last weekend i stayd out with olip..we watchd x-man3..we ate ben&jerry (which r supr dupr nice!!) we walkd round n round..we took photos..n etc..n etc..but i realised it wasn't as fun as it used to b..was it bcozz i hav gottn used to it? or was it bcozz both of us wasn't in the mood? or was it me? i keep thinkin tat as i grow up, i change into tis prson who is soo damn borin..the change was soo smooth n continually tat i actually dun feel it..or rathr i keep tryin to make myself believe tat i am okaii..tat it is juzz bcozz my frenzz r not crazy enough comparin to my secondary frenzz so tat can't b who i really am..but is it true? if we are havin gathrin, can the old me still come out? i doubt so..
olip n i were on our way to orcet when we suddnly hav the 'urgency' to play dare or dare, lyk wad usually do back then in MGS..it came out, however, i couln't think of any funny thing for her to do n i couldn't do wad she askd me to do..i was too shy to actually do wad she askd me to do..WTH?!i, who had never faild to da wad pple dared me..i, who lykd to play tis game soooo much back then..where is tat i?!hav i bcome so borin?hav i bcum, irritatinly, a borin young woman?!
i went downstairs to eat dinnr n sumhow jason came n sat wit me..turnd out he was waitin for 2t to hav dinnr togethr..i was kinda sad cozz i had juzz askd her to eat wit me but she didn't want to..as in..she wantd to eat wit him, but not wit me?okaii..wadeva..
do i hate jason bcozz he is annoyin?or is it bcozz i hate myself?is it bcozz i think tat 2t lyks him more than me tat i convince myself tat i hate him when actually i hate myself for not bein good enough, fun enough, to actually havin sumone havin fun bein near me?i dun undrstand myself..
ooh my goodness..
posted by fishball at
7:54 PM
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