dumbdumb..

i feel so damn stupid n bad a few daes ago..i could not even believe myself for not knowin one of my closst frenzz tat well..hav i been soo selfish by livin in my own world?hav i been soo egoistic tat i dun even know bout her animore?i juzz realise of how my lyf hs been l8ly..it is no longr bout me n others..merely juzz me..me..me..n ME!!who am i?!i can't undrstand myself animore..wad hav i turnd into?!my dear fren, if u ever read tis blog..I AM SOOO SORIII!!!u can't imagine how sorii i am..if only there is anitin i can do to juzz make me feel less guilty..

l8ly my relationship wit anione has not been so good..whenever i go out with her n othr frenzz i can seem to b who i am..i think my self-esteem is juzz too low l8ly..i always think tat the othrs want to talk to her more than talkin to me..so i juzz dun want them to b walkin near me..i always go to e front of them n walk alone..i dun want to b near them..it feels vr bad to make pple suffr for bein forced to accompany me..i am borin..tat's e fact..i dun wanna go out wit her n jason or saunders ald..i juzz feel so bad..

i realise tat i am so different from 2t or jason..e way jason n 2t sees stuff is different from e way i see it..watchin tristan n isolde made me realise tat..they see it from a total different angle from me..goin shoppin with them also opens my eyes..wad i said nice wasn't nice for them..well..i want to think tat it is not a bad thing tat i actually hav different opinion from others..but is it true?or it is juzz my way to run away from e fact tat i am weird?

is it a good thing to b different from othr pple?i am thinkin maybe bcozz i am different from other pple, i can't socialise wit them..is it true?but i am diff from almost all of my closst frnzz..nvmd..i refuse to think bout all those stuff now..

my brain is burstin out..it can no longr think..when actually i am havin a lot n a lot of humwork..dun care liao lha..die ald..maybe i need to run to keep my mind workin..long tym neve run ald..i think i gain weight liao.. >.<>